I have written many words about Gemma over the last few years, in small poems

                 And music, but this is the hardest thing I have had to write.

She had such a great outlook on life, of living for the moment and not wanting to

   Miss out on anything. She loved being spontaneous and doing whatever she felt

                                                        Like on the day.

Money was never an issue with Gemma, whatever she wanted to do, she did.

Holidays all over the world, a brand new car, going to gigs, shopping, festivals,

                                        out drinking and many others.

I am so proud of her for having this philosophy in life, and so thankful for being

There with her, to enjoy and experience such things. It is people like Gemma that

           Give inspiration to others to live in such a way, because life is for living.

She loved people, her family and her friends. She was such a caring person, and

     She always surprised me how much she really thought about other people’s

Happiness. If ever I was feeling low, Gemma was always there to pick me back up

                          And comfort me. She was like this with everybody.

She knew what was really important in life, the only thing she ever really wanted

  Was to be happy. With the amount of times she smiled and laughed, I don’t think

                       Anybody can really doubt that she had achieved that.

I am a big believer in the Soul, and that the Soul is what really makes a person

Who they are. She had a beautiful Soul, of love, happiness and for a true passion

Of life. I believe when somebody leaves this world, their Soul is always alive and

   Goes to a better place. Our body is just here on Earth in order for our Soul to

                                                        Express itself.

Ever since I met Gemma my life has never been the same. She changed me from

A boy into a man. Her influence on my life is huge. She is my greatest inspiration.

I will miss her immensely, but I will remember everything she has taught me

About life, and the amazing times and memories that we have shared together.

I know that I  am not the only person she has touched, she has touched us all in

                                                     Some form.

To me Gemma was truly an Angel, and this gives me great comfort. Although

She is not physically with us, she will always be here in spirit and Soul, with us in

GEMMA'S STORY

27TH NOVEMBER 2004, YOU WERE A HEALTHY HAPPY YOUNG WOMAN WHEN YOU LEFT THE HOUSE FOR A SHOPPING TRIP, THIS DAY WILL FOREVER BE ETCHED IN MY MIND FOR THAT WAS THE DAY THAT CHANGED ALL OUR LIVES FOREVER,
YOU OFTEN WENT OUT ON A SATURDAY WITH FRIENDS SO THIS WAS NOT UNUSUAL THAT YOU DID NOT COME HOME EARLY BEING A SATURDAY NIGHT, DAD AND I WENT TO BED AS USUAL, FUNNILY I REMEMBER THINKING WHEN I WALKED PAST YOUR ROOM IT'S UNUSUAL FOR YOU TO LEAVE YOUR COMPUTER ON AND I WENT IN TO TURN IT OFF I COULD SEE YOU HAD BEEN DOWNLOADING MUSIC, I LOOKED AT THE TIME IT WAS 11.20PM THINKING NOW THIS WAS THE TIME OF THE CRASH! ...IRONIC THAT I HAPPENED TO BE IN YOUR ROOM ON YOUR COMPUTER, THINKING NOTHING OF IT AT THE TIME I WENT OFF TO BED.THIS WAS TO BE THE LAST GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP I WILL EVER HAVE!!
I WAS WOKEN AT 2AM  BY A BANGING AT THE DOOR THEN THE BELL RANG THEN THE TELEPHONE, AT FIRST FOR A SPLIT SECOND I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR KEY BUT  AS I LOOKED DOWN THE STAIRS TO THE FRONT DOOR I COULD SEE THE OUTLINE OF 2 PEOPLE I KNEW THEN IT WAS NOT YOU,
I RAN DOWNSTAIRS OPENED THE DOOR MY HEART WAS IN MY MOUTH THE FIRST WORDS I SAID WAS "IT IS GEMMA IS SHE DEAD?" NOT SURE WHY I SAID THAT BUT COULD THINK ONLY OF YOU, I HAD SEEN MARIE IN THE DAY AND I KNEW NATALIE WAS HOME AND THAT SCOTT WAS SAFELY IN BED. THE 2 POLICE OFFICERS ASKED TO COME IN AND SAID YOU HAD A SERIOUS HEAD INJURY FROM A CAR CRASH AND WE WERE TO GO QUICKLY WITH THEM TO WATFORD GENERAL HOSPITAL, I RAN UPSTAIRS WOKE DAD WE BOTH PULLED OUR CLOTHES ON RACED DOWNSTAIRS DRAGGED SCOTT OUT OF BED, THEN CALLED NATALIE TOLD HER SHE HAD TO CARE FOR SCOTT, SHE WAS CRYING ON THE PHONE WE ALL FELT SO HELPLESS! ...AFTER TAKING SCOTT TO NATALIE, THE POLICE RACED TO WATFORD I THINK WE KNEW HOWSERIOUS YOU WERE AS THE HOSPITAL WERE CONSTANTLY CALLING THE POLICE ASKING WHERE WE WERE I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THE SPEEDOMETER WE WERE DOING 150MPH ON THE MOTORWAY AND WE GOT TO WATFORD IN NO TIME!!

WE WERE TAKEN TO A ROOM AND A CONSULTANT CAME TO SEE US SAID GEMMA HAD GOT A SEVERE HEAD INJURY AND A COLLAPSED LUNG ANDSHE WAS ON LIFE SUPPORT, THINKING BACK IT SEEMS LIKE A DREAM EVERYTHING SEEMED TO HAPPEN IN SLOW MOTION LIKE I WAS THERE BUT IT WAS'NT REAL! I ASKED WILL SHE DIE AND WAS TOLD MAYBE, AND THAT YOU WOULD BE TRANSFERRED TO A SPECIALIST BRAIN INJURY HOSPITAL IN CENTRAL LONDON WE WERE ALLOWED TO SEE YOU JUST FOR A MINUTE, YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE ONLY ASLEEP! THERE WAS NOTHING TO SEE ON YOUR HEAD ONLY A SLIGHT SWELLING OVER ONE EYE AND A GRAZED FOREHEAD NOTHING TO SEE YET HAD SUCH TERRIBLE INJURIES INSIDE YOUR BRAIN!

WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TRAVEL WITH YOU IN AMBULANCE SO POLICE TOOK US AND SAID DON'T BE DISTURBED IF THE AMBULANCE HAS TO STOP ENROUTE AS WE WILL CARRY ON TO THE HOSPITAL, I KNEW THEY THOUGHT SHE WOULD DIE ENROUTE THAT IS WHY WE WERE TOLD THIS. BUT YOU DID'NT YOU HUNG IN THERE THEY SAID YOUR HEART WAS REALLY STRONG. ONCE AT THE LONDON WE WERE SENT TO THE RELATIVES ROOM BY NOW THIS WAS 5AM AND WE DID NOT SEE YOU UNTIL 7.30AM THEY HAD TOOK YOU TO THEATRE AND PUT A PROBE IN YOUR HEAD TO MONITOR THE PRESSURE IN YOUR BRAIN.
 ANOTHER CONSULTANT SPOKE TO US AND SAID THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO ONLY WAIT AND SEE AS THE WHOLE OF YOUR BRAIN WAS INJURED THERE WAS NOT ONE PART THAT COULD BE OPERATED ON.... THINKING BACK I'M NOT SURE HOW I STAYED CALM BUT WE BOTH DID STILL FEELING I SUPPOSE THAT IT WAS A DREAM COS THIS DOES'NT HAPPEN TO PEOPLE LIKE US ONLY TO OTHERS! YOU HEAR ON THE TV ,YOU READ IN THE PAPERS BUT IT NEVER AFFECTS YOU!... I THINK WE WERE STILL IN DISBELIEF!

I MANAGED TO CALL ALAN HE CAME STRAIGHT AWAY AND HE STAYED WITH US THE WHOLE TIME, EVERY DAY ALAN CAME TO THE HOSPITAL ALONG WITH GEMMA'S SISTERS AND BROTHER, SO MANY OF HER FRIENDS CAME TOO. WE WOULD STAY FROM EARLY IN THE MORNING TILL 8PM OR SO EACH NIGHT TALKING TO HER STROKING HER FACE, WATCHING THE DOCTORS AND NURSES KEEPING HER ALIVE!
SHE FOUGHT SO HARD TO STAY WITH US BUT AFTER 3 DAYS HER BODY COULD TAKE NO MORE, WEDNESDAY 1ST DECEMBER WE WERE TOLD WHEN WE ARRIVED GEMMA'S CONDITION HAD DETERIATED AND WE BARELY HAD TIME TO SEE HER BEFORE SHE WAS TAKEN FOR SCAN'S THAT SHOWED THE INCREASE IN PRESSURE.   THE SURGEON SAID HER ONLY CHANCE WOULD BE TO OPERATE TO REMOVE A PIECE OF SKULL THIS WAS TO PURELY SAVE HER LIFE!! WE GAVE CONSENT AND THE OPERATION BEGAN I THINK ABOUT 1.30PM WE ALL SAT IN THE CHAPEL OF REST AND PRAYED LIKE WE'D NEVER PRAYED BEFORE! SEEMED LIKE SUCH A SHORT TIMEWE WERE THERE, WE THEN WENT TO THE WAITING ROOM THIS MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE 3PM AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER THE STAFF NURSE WHO HAD BEEN WITH GEMMA MOST OF THE TIME CAME INTO US AND STARTED TO CRY BEFORE SHE HAD EVEN SAID ANYTHING I KNEW GEMMA HAD DIED, CAN'T BELIEVE HOW CALM I WAS WHEREAS  NATALIE COLLAPSED AND WAS DELIRIOUS! THE NURSES AND SURGEONS HAD TO HELP HER COS SHE COULD'NT BREATHE, MARIE WAS SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY ON MY SHOULDER, POOR ALAN WAS JUST IN SHOCK! ROB WAS TRYING TO HOLD SCOTT DOWN AS HE WAS
 SO FULL OF ANGER AND WANTED TO KILL THE DRIVER FOR TAKING HIS SISTER! ROB AND I WERE JUST STUNNED!! I COULD'NT CRY NOTHING I KNEW SHE WAS DEAD BUT I FELT NOTHING!!

 WE WERE TOLD GEMMA HAD STRUGGLED TO GET THROUGH THE OPERATION  HAVING 3 HEART ATTACKS SADLY HER BRAIN WAS DYING AND ALL HER ORGANS CONTROLLING HER HEART, LUNGS. BREATHING ALL BEGAN TO SHUT DOWN.HARD TO IMAGINE WHEN SHE WAS ALWAYS SO FIT AND HEALTHY!!

WE WERE ALLOWED TO SEE HER IN THE WARD, BLESS HER SHE LOOKED JUST LIKE SHE WAS ASLEEP SO PEACEFUL ALL WE WANTED WAS FOR HER TO WAKE UP! THIS IS A SIGHT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET AS LONG AS I LIVE, SEEING YOUR CHILD LYING IN A BED LIFELESS! SHOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN, THE GUILT I FELT AS I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO HAVE CHANGED PLACES WITH HER SHE HAD ONLY JUST STARTED HER LIFE... SELFISH AS IT MAYBE I WISHED AT THAT TIME THAT I COULD BE WITH HER TO DIE ALSO. SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO EXPERIENCE HER DEATH BEFORE MINE I AS HER MOTHER SHOULD HAVE GONE FIRST.

GEMMA HAS NOW BEEN GONE 21 WEEKS AND IT SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME, SHE WILL NEVER EVER BE FORGOTTEN   
SHE WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED  BY ALAN WHO ALONG WITH US WAS WITH HER UNTIL THE END, HER FAMILY WHO LOVED HER AND STILL DO LOVE HER DEARLY AND ALWAYS WILL.

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT DEATH BUT THE ENORMITY OF IT  WHEN IT IS YOUR OWN CHILD!  IS UNDISCRIBABLE.


        GEMMA LOUISE LING DIED 3.32PM 1ST DECEMBER 2004
  
 
       


My darling gem  your 21st birthday, if you were still here you would be getting so excited planning what you would be doing that day i think i could say you would have met your monday friends at the pub on 21st and got incredibly drunk! cos you would'nt have to get up early for work as you always get the day off for your birthday,then you would propably have been up early cos scott would have wanted to give you his card and present before he went to school you would have looked a little worse for wear to say the least(although you always said to me you never got that drunk!)but you would not have minded the early morning cos you were like a little kid when it was your birthday so excited then you would have chilled out for a while and maybe met some of your friends for a drink the afternoon, when dad came home from work we would all be going for our family meal as we always did for all our birthdays to your favourite restaurant "chillies" in a stretch limousine!

I am so sad gemma that you will not be with us on such a special birthday but don't worry gem we will certainly be celebrating we are going to chillies as planned and Alan will be there too, i can't stop wishing this was all a dream writing as i do regularly on this site, but wishes don't come true i will try my hardest on your birthday to stay strong and enjoy it as best as i can.